Story 107: Reza Shadey and the Supermarket Stakeout
One rainy afternoon, Mrs Higgins was reading the news on her tablet, chuckling softly. "Oh, listen to this, Reza!" she said. "A cat called Millie got locked in a supermarket and triggered the burglar alarm! Seven police officers rushed to save her. They're calling her a 'diva'!"
Reza Shadey, who was busy trying to look handsome in the reflection of the toaster, froze. His emerald eyes narrowed. "A diva? Her? For getting stuck in a shop?" he huffed to himself. "Amateurs! If I were to inspect a supermarket, I wouldn't just get stuck. I would take command! Seven police officers? I deserve a royal guard of at least twenty!"
The green-eyed monster of jealousy bit him hard. He couldn't let this Millie have all the glory. He needed to show the world how a true professional handles a supermarket lockout.
He zoomed out into the garden to assemble his team. Penelope was sheltering under the patio table, Ginger Tom was dreaming of lunch, and Tiger was chasing raindrops.
"Friends!" Reza announced, puffing out his chest. "Tonight, we embark on a mission of national importance! We are going to the Big Supermarket down the road. We shall sneak in before it closes and conduct a... Grand Night-Time Inspection!"
Ginger Tom's ears perked up. "The supermarket? That's where the ham comes from, isn't it? And the rotisserie chicken?"
"Precisely!" said Reza. "Aisle 4 is rumoured to be a Tuna Treasury. We shall liberate it!"
Tiger bounced so high he nearly hit the shed roof. "And the floors are shiny! I can slide! SWISH! WHOOSH!"
But Penelope just blinked her wise eyes and tucked her paws neatly underneath her. "Rezzi, darling", she purred calmly. "Getting locked in a shop isn't a mission. It's a mistake. I prefer my dinner served in a bowl, not stolen from a shelf. I shall stay here and keep warm, thank you very much."
Reza flicked his tail dismissively. "Your loss, Penelope! Come, men! To the deli counter!"
Under the cover of twilight, the three cats crept down the road. They waited by the automatic doors of the "TESCO". As a shopper hurried out, they slipped in — a blur of orange, stripes, and fluff — and dashed behind a stack of toilet roll.
BEEP-BEEP! The shutters came down. The lights dimmed. They were in.
"Welcome to my Kingdom!" Reza declared, his voice echoing in the empty aisle. "I am the King of Aisle 4! Tom, secure the perimeter (the deli). Tiger, commence tactical sliding!"
It was chaos. Ginger Tom found the deli counter, but alas, the chicken was locked away behind glass. He settled for sitting on top of the display case, drooling at a gammon and leaving foggy nose prints on the glass. "So close, yet so far!" he wailed.
Tiger discovered that the polished floor was indeed the slipperiest thing in the world. "WHEEEE!" he squealed, sliding on his tummy all the way down the Cereal Aisle. He crashed into a display of baked beans. "CLATTER-CRASH-BOOM!" Tins rolled everywhere like metal marbles.
Reza strutted to the Pet Food section. He inspected the pouches. "Hmph. Rabbit flavour? How common. Where is the caviar?" He climbed onto a shelf to give a speech to a row of silent dog treats. "You may wonder why I have gathered you here..."
But then — disaster! A large, dusty moth fluttered past. Tiger's instincts kicked in. "INTRUDER!" he chirped. He leapt onto the checkout counter, bounced off the till, and scrambled up a display of chewing gum.
He triggered the motion sensor. WEE-OOO! WEE-OOO! WEE-OOO!
The alarm screamed like a robot banshee! Ginger Tom fell off the deli counter with a THUMP! Tiger froze, looking like a guilty statue. Reza, however, looked out of the window.
Blue lights were flashing everywhere! Spinning, bright blue lights!
Reza gasped in delight. "Oh, magnificent!" he thought. "They've thrown a disco in my honour! A Grand Light Show to celebrate my inspection! Look at all those flashing lights — they must have known I was here!"
He ran to the glass doors and posed, waiting for his adoring fans. The doors were pried open. But instead of fans with cameras, in marched seven police officers, looking very serious and holding torches.
"Right, come out, you lot", said a tall policeman, shining his torch right in Reza's eyes. "We've got the suspects. One ginger, one tabby, and... blimey, look at this one... Thinks he owns the place."
Reza purred loudly, rubbing against the policeman's shiny boots. "Yes, bow to me, loyal guard! You may escort me to my carriage!"
And they did. Sort of. The three cats were scooped up — Reza protesting that he hadn't finished his speech — and placed in the back of a police car. Reza sat tall on the back seat, looking out of the window as the blue lights flashed.
"Observe, Tom", he meowed grandly. "A private chauffeur! A blue-light escort! This is how VIPs travel. That Millie cat only had a van. We have a Police Patrol Car!"
When they arrived at Mrs Higgins's house, the policeman knocked on the door. Mrs Higgins opened it in her dressing gown, looking terrified. "Oh my goodness! Is everyone alright?"
"Just found a gang of burglars in the supermarket, ma'am", the policeman chuckled, handing over a guilty-looking Tom and a sleepy Tiger. Reza strolled in past them, tail held high, refusing to look embarrassed.
Mrs Higgins was mortified. She apologised to the officers, promised to keep the cat flap locked, and ushered the cats into the kitchen.
Penelope was waiting on the table. She looked at Tom's nose-print-smudged face. She looked at Tiger's bean-stained paws. And she looked at Reza, who was preening himself by the radiator.
"So", Penelope purred smoothly. "How was the heist? Did you get the ham? Or just a ride in a noisy car?"
Reza sniffed. "It wasn't a ride, Penelope. It was a Royal Escort. The authorities insisted on taking me home for my own safety, due to my extreme value to the nation. I am, effectively, a national treasure."
Ginger Tom burped. "I licked a ham. It tasted like glass."
Mrs Higgins sighed, shaking her head as she poured them some (very boring) biscuits. "No more police cars, Reza. You're grounded."
Reza just crunched a biscuit and winked at Tiger. He knew the truth. He was a celebrity now. A diva? Never. He was a Legend!
Mrs Higgins says: Shops are for shopping with grown-ups, not for hiding in! Never try to stay inside a shop after it closes – it's very dangerous and causes a lot of trouble for the police!
Night night. Sleep tight.