Story 13: Reza Shadey and the Wobbly Tum
Reza Shadey was not merely a fluffy Persian cat. He was, in his own opinion, the Chief Executive of the Entire Garden.
He did not steal the other cats' dinners. Oh no. That would be rude. Instead, he performed what he called "Spontaneous Snack Audits."
A polite slurp of Penelope's salmon? A consultancy fee. A crunch of Tiger's biscuits? Early investment. A nibble of Ginger Tom's chicken? Standard operating cost.
To Reza, this was simply how a successful organisation was run.
Unfortunately, all this "auditing" was beginning to affect his equipment.
His once-sleek frame was becoming... rather substantial. His proud, elegant prowl had developed a noticeable wobble.
One afternoon he attempted what he called a "High-Altitude Strategic Jump" onto the garden wall.
He leapt.
He soared.
He misjudged.
"OOF!"
Reza landed squarely in a patch of daisies.
Tiger, the Furry Missile, zipped over immediately, vibrating with excitement.
"Reza, old-boy!" Tiger said. "That jump was kinda mid, no cap."
From his sunny napping spot, Ginger Tom opened one eye and chuckled.
"Blimey, mate", he snorted. "You've got more wobble than a jelly in a hurricane."
Even elegant Penelope padded over, her calm voice full of gentle concern.
"Oh, Rezzi, darling", she purred softly. "Are you quite well? Your magnificent fluff seems... extra magnificent lately."
Reza's whiskers twitched with outrage.
"Extra magnificent?!" he huffed. "This is not wobble. It is a strategic reserve of energy!"
But his pride had been wounded. Deeply.
Later that evening, Mrs Higgins scooped him up for a cuddle.
She puffed slightly.
"My goodness, Reza!" she said. "You're becoming a proper fluffy football!"
Reza froze.
"Right then", she continued. "No more pinching other cats' dinners. And the cat flap gets locked at night."
The horror had begun.
Instead of delicious, stolen delicacies, Reza's bowl now contained... boring brown biscuits.
And sometimes —
Reza shuddered —
a carrot.
He poked it.
He sniffed it.
He took the tiniest nibble.
"Yuck", he muttered. "This is not food. This is vegetable sabotage."
But a hungry cat is a determined cat.
One evening, Reza noticed the pantry door was slightly open.
His eyes gleamed.
"Aha", he whispered. "A direct acquisition of the household supply chain."
He squeezed his fluffy body through the gap.
Squeeeeze...
It was a tight fit.
Then suddenly —
CRASH!
BUMP!
CLATTER!
A tin of peas rolled across the floor.
A bag of flour burst open in a white cloud.
When Mrs Higgins rushed in, she found Reza sitting in the middle of the kitchen looking like a very fluffy ghost.
Peas rolled gently around his paws.
"Oh, Reza", she sighed, trying not to laugh. "No snacks in there, you silly sausage. Just trouble."
The following weeks were very difficult for Reza.
Every day he sat in the garden watching the others race around the rose bushes.
Zoom!
Whizz!
Pounce!
Tiger darted past like a furry rocket. Ginger Tom bounded after him. Even graceful Penelope joined the game.
Reza tried to follow.
Wobble...
Huff...
Puff...
He stopped and sat down again.
This could not continue.
"This is not a diet", Reza announced to himself. "It is a temporary optimisation program."
So he crunched the diet biscuits.
Crunch.
Crunch.
Crunch.
Day by day, something surprising happened.
The wobble slowly disappeared.
Reza could chase butterflies again.
Flutter — flutter — pounce!
He could leap onto the garden bench without going "OOF".
He even managed a graceful hop onto the wall.
"Excellent", he purred, grooming his paw.
Just then Mrs Higgins brought him a tiny piece of cooked chicken.
"For being a good cat", she said.
Reza accepted the treat with great dignity.
"Yes", he murmured thoughtfully. "This new, streamlined physique is clearly an upgrade."
He flicked his tail and looked around the garden.
"I am now faster... stealthier... and far better prepared for future snack acquisitions."
He smiled to himself.
"No snack bowl in this garden will see me coming."
And with that very sensible conclusion, Reza curled up in the warm evening sun.
Mrs Higgins says: "Pantries and cupboards can be wobbly places! It's best not to climb inside them because heavy things might fall down. Play where it is safe!"
Night night. Sleep tight.