Story 18: Reza Shadey and the Perfume Scandal
Okay, snuggle down tight, little ones.
One sparkly morning, Reza Shadey — the fluffiest, cheekiest Persian cat in Catford — was lounging on Mrs Higgins's windowsill when a delightful scent tickled his magnificent whiskers.
Mrs Higgins was dabbing a tiny drop of fancy French perfume behind her ears.
"Pssht!"
Reza's emerald eyes gleamed.
"Humans have perfume", he mused, his tail swishing slowly. "Why not cats?"
A spectacularly brilliant idea bloomed in his brain.
"I shall create 'Eau de Feline', the world's first luxury cat fragrance!" he declared to the geraniums. "I will become a famous perfume maker, richer than a king!"
With an imperious yowl, he summoned his friends to the garden.
"Attention, my loyal associates!" he announced, puffing out his chest.
Penelope, Ginger Tom, and little Tiger trotted over, their tails swishing curiously.
"Swish-swish!"
"Today", Reza proclaimed, waving a paw like a grand inventor, "we begin an exciting new enterprise! We are creating the world's most magnificent cat perfume."
Penelope tilted her head.
"A perfume?" she said carefully. "Rezzi... that sounds less like a lovely idea and more like a stinky disaster."
Reza gave her a look of deep, patient pity.
"My dear Penelope, you will be Head of Marketing. Your job is to look elegant and convince everyone it smells wonderful. It is a very important role."
Penelope sighed softly. "I had a feeling it might be."
Tiger bounced on his paws.
"Ooo! A perfume company!" he squeaked. "That's brilliant, Reza!"
Reza nodded grandly.
"Excellent enthusiasm, Tiger! You shall be Chief of Production. Your energy will be... most useful."
Tiger zoomed in a happy circle.
"Zoom!"
Ginger Tom, meanwhile, was licking a paw and looking doubtful.
"This is daft, Reza", he said. "Cats don't need perfume. We're perfectly fragrant already."
"Tom, my friend", said Reza smoothly, "you shall be Head of Quality Control."
Tom raised an eyebrow.
"There will be snack-based bonuses."
Tom considered this very carefully.
"...All right then", he said.
That night, under the twinkly stars, the cats crept quietly around Mrs Higgins's garden.
Tip-tap. Tip-tap.
They filled her empty flowerpots with their very special ingredient.
Reza strutted proudly between the pots like a master perfumer, sniffing the air.
"Ah yes", he murmured. "A bold bouquet with earthy undertones of damp sock... and perhaps a hint of forgotten fish. A masterpiece."
By morning, a truly magnificent pong floated through the garden.
"Phew!"
Mrs Higgins threw open her window.
"What is that dreadful smell?" she cried.
She spotted the flowerpots and marched outside, hands on hips.
"Reza Shadey!" she said. "You naughty cat! What have you done now?"
Reza sat tall, looking very dignified.
"It is the first test of Eau de Feline, Mrs Higgins."
Mrs Higgins was not impressed.
She fetched a mop and bucket and began scrubbing the pots.
"Scrub, scrub!"
"Silly sausage of a cat", she muttered.
But Reza was not discouraged.
"They simply do not understand my vision", he said with a dignified sniff.
So he planned a grand launch party.
He arranged crunchy biscuits and fluttering ribbons around the garden.
"Flutter, flutter!"
Then he poured a tiny drop of Eau de Feline into a stolen thimble and placed it proudly on a velvet cushion.
The neighbourhood cats gathered, sniffing with curiosity.
"Sniff, sniff!"
Reza Shadey climbed onto a tree stump and puffed out his chest.
"Behold!" he announced. "Eau de Feline — the scent of royalty!"
He tried to sprinkle a little onto a leaf to demonstrate.
But at that exact moment...
A cheeky puff of wind blew it straight back into his own face.
Reza blinked furiously.
His eyes watered.
"A very powerful formula!" he declared bravely.
But the smell drifted across the garden like a terrible fog.
One cat sneezed.
"Achoo!"
Another bolted up a tree.
"Zoom!"
Soon the entire crowd was scattering in horror.
Unfortunately, the smell also reached next door.
the dog, who had been snoozing peacefully, suddenly shot upright.
His nose twitched.
The smell was strange. It was confusing. It was... fascinating.
"WOOF!"
charged into the garden, his tail wagging wildly.
He skidded across the grass, sending biscuits flying everywhere.
Crunch! Scatter!
He zoomed straight toward the thimble on the velvet cushion and gave it a tremendous sniff.
Then he sneezed the biggest doggy sneeze imaginable.
"AAAH-CHOO!"
The thimble flew through the air.
"Plink!"
It landed directly on Ginger Tom's head, dribbling Eau de Feline all over his orange fur.
Suddenly, Tom was the most interesting thing had ever smelled.
The dog bounded after him happily.
Sniffing! Licking! Trying to play!
"Get off, you big lump!" yowled Tom, racing across the garden.
Up a tree he scrambled while bounced below, wagging his tail.
The launch party dissolved into complete and glorious chaos.
Reza Shadey watched the mayhem with thoughtful dignity.
His magnificent plan lay in ruins.
He puffed out his chest.
"Hmph!" he declared to a passing beetle. "The launch was a tremendous success."
The beetle did not reply.
"It clearly proves", Reza continued, "that the scent is powerful enough to attract an entirely new audience."
He nodded wisely.
"Yes. The canine market."
His friends slowly crept back from their hiding places.
Penelope gently nuzzled him.
"Oh, Rezzi", she purred, "you are still our favourite rascal."
Ginger Tom finally climbed down from the tree and crunched a stray biscuit.
"Munch, munch."
"Yeah", he said. "Maybe stick to being a cat, Reza. Business isn't your thing."
Tiger bounced excitedly beside them.
"That party was amazing!" he squeaked. "Can we make biscuit perfume next?"
Reza Shadey sighed... but he couldn't help purring.
As he curled up in his cosy bed that night, he whispered to himself:
"Next time, I shall invent something even more brilliant."
He paused thoughtfully.
"Perhaps... a line of fashionable, edible hats."
"Purrrrr."
Night night. Sleep tight.