Story 31: Reza Shadey, the Emperor
Right then, snuggle in close. Here's a story about Reza Shadey deciding that simply being the boss was no longer nearly impressive enough for him.
One sunny morning, Reza Shadey woke up on his very comfy cushion. He stretched one paw, then the other.
"Meeeowwwn", he yawned.
Being the Boss of the Gardens was all very well... but as he looked out across the lawn, he felt something was missing.
"No, no", he thought, puffing out his fluffy chest. "This is far too small for someone of my importance. I must be MORE! I shall be KING!"
He hopped onto the nearest garden gnome — Boing! — and announced dramatically, "Listen up, everyone! From now on, I am KING REZA!"
Penelope, who was washing her face nearby, stopped mid-lick. Ginger Tom, trying to catch a wiggly worm, paused. Tiger just blinked his big golden eyes.
They looked at each other.
Oh dear.
Reza was having one of his ideas again. They knew it was best just to nod slowly.
Now, King Reza realised he needed something to match his new importance.
"A king needs a robe!" he declared. "The most magnificent robe in the world! Made of... made of..." He thought very hard. "Made of Feline Royal Silk! Yes! Something no cat has ever seen before!"
He remembered Felix the Fox, who lived nearby and was always a little too clever for his own good.
Reza marched over to Felix's den.
"Fox!" he commanded. "You will make me a cloak of the finest, most luxurious Feline Royal Silk. Immediately!"
Felix the Fox grinned.
"Ooh, this will be fun", he thought.
He pretended to measure Reza with a blade of grass. Then he pretended to snip and sew with his paws in thin air.
Snip, snip... whizz!
"Your Majesty", Felix said, trying not to giggle, "this silk is very special. Only the cleverest and most important cats can see it. Silly or unworthy cats see nothing at all."
Reza Shadey looked. He saw... nothing.
But could King Reza admit he couldn't see it? Never.
"Ah, yes", he said, nodding wisely, even though his tummy gave a tiny wobble. "Magnificent. Truly... silky."
"I can't see a thing", he thought, trying to stay calm, "but I mustn't let that sneaky fox know!"
Felix carefully handed over the completely invisible cloak.
Reza pretended to drape it over his shoulders, puffing out his chest even more. He paid Felix with a promise of "future royal favours" — which meant nothing at all — and strutted back to the garden, head held high.
"Gather round!"Reza called. "Behold! My Royal Robe! Is it not the most elegant and majestic thing you have ever seen?"
Penelope blinked.
Ginger Tom squinted.
Tiger tilted his head.
They saw... Reza. Just plain old fluffy Reza.
No robe. Not even a thread.
But did they say anything? Oh no.
They knew King Reza. If anyone said the robe wasn't real, he would make their lives very difficult indeed. Toys might go missing. Blame might be placed. Biscuit bowls... interfered with.
So they clapped their paws together nervously.
Clap, clap, clap!
"Oh, Your Majesty Rezzi", said Penelope carefully, "it's... very minimalist."
"Truly... kingly", added Ginger Tom, sweating a little.
"It's giving invisible vibes, no cap!" chirped Tiger, trying not to giggle.
Just as King Reza puffed himself up to give a long, important speech, a little scruffy terrier named trotted into the garden.
wasn't interested in grand speeches. He liked things simple and clear.
As bounded closer, Reza drew himself up proudly.
"Careful, dog!" he snapped. "Don't slobber on my Royal Robe!"
stopped. He looked. He blinked.
"WOOF! What robe?" he barked. "You're completely NAKED!"
Silence.
Every cat froze.
Penelope covered her mouth. Ginger Tom's eyes went wide. Tiger burst out laughing.
"Hee hee hee!"
Reza stood perfectly still. His fur puffed up with shock.
Caught! Exposed!
For one tiny moment... everything wobbled.
Then —
Reza leapt high into the air.
"NAKED? HA!" he cried, landing with a grand flourish. "Foolish dog! This was ALL PART of my ROYAL TEST!"
The cats blinked.
"A test?" they whispered.
"Yes!" boomed Reza. "I wished to see who was clever enough to believe in such a fine robe... and who would laugh like silly kittens!"
He puffed out his chest.
"And you all passed! Very loyal! Very impressive! Exactly as I expected."
Penelope narrowed her eyes but said nothing. Ginger Tom nodded quickly. Tiger was still giggling behind his paw. wagged his tail, quite pleased with himself.
Just then, the kitchen door opened.
Mrs Higgins stepped outside with a basket of laundry. She took one look at Reza posing proudly in the garden and shook her head.
"Reza Shadey", she said calmly, "always causing a fuss. You think about being a kinder king... or you'll be ruling an empty garden."
Reza's ears drooped for just a moment.
But as soon as she went back inside, he flicked his tail and gave a sly little grin.
"Heh heh. Still the cleverest", he thought, strutting across the grass as if everything had gone exactly to plan.
Later that night, curled up on his cushion, he purred sleepily.
"Perhaps tomorrow... I'll make the shed my Royal Treasury..."
And so, Reza Shadey remained the undisputed, self-appointed, slightly potty King of Nonsense.
Night night. Sleep tight.