Story 46: Reza Shadey and the Three Foolish Cats
Once upon a time, in the grand garden of Mrs Higgins, lived Reza Shadey — truly the most splendid, spectacular, stupendously magnificent Persian cat in all of England! Or so he yowled to anyone who'd listen. MEEEOWWW! But, oh dear, Reza was dreadfully, horribly bored. "Boredom is for ordinary cats", he huffed, fluffing his fur like a king's fluffy cape. "I need adventure! I need to show everyone who's boss!"
Next door, his three neighbours — Penelope, Ginger Tom and little Tiger — were having the most wonderful sleepover at Penelope's cosy house. They were scampering about the garden, chasing butterflies and giggling like tickled jellybeans. HEE-HEE-HEE! Reza spotted an open door and his emerald eyes glinted with mischief. "An invitation for a genius like me!" he purred, tip-toeing inside with a rather noisy CREAK... THUMP... OOPS! (He wasn't exactly a ninja cat, was he?)
Inside, Reza discovered three bowls of food, just sitting there, practically begging to be inspected by the King of All Cats. "Time to judge these peasant snacks!" he declared, puffing his chest out so proudly it nearly burst his buttons (if cats wore buttons, which they don't, but you know what I mean!).
First was Penelope's bowl, piled high with fancy salmon mousse, topped with a dainty sprinkle of parsley. Reza took one sniff and wrinkled his nose like he'd smelled a stinky sock. "YUCK! BLEURGH!" he spat. "Parsley on salmon? What utter silliness!" With a mighty swipe — SWOOSH! — he sent the mousse flying through the air like a pink pancake. SPLOSH! It landed on the rug with a tremendous squelch.
Next was Ginger Tom's bowl, stuffed full of juicy roast chicken chunks. Reza nibbled a tiny bit. NOM... Hmph. Tasty enough, but oh-so-messy and common, like a peasant's picnic! "No style whatsoever!" he scoffed. With a dramatic flick of his royal tail — FLICK-SWOOSH! — he tipped it right over. CRASH-BANG-WALLOP! Chicken bits bounced everywhere like tiny, tasty fireworks. PING-PONG-BOUNCE!
Finally, Tiger's bowl held plain, crunchy kitten biscuits. Simple. Sensible. Perfect for a sophisticated cat like him. Reza's whiskers wiggled with absolute delight. "Now THIS is fit for royalty!" he purred, gobbling up every single crumb. CRUNCH-CRUNCH-MUNCH-CHOMP! His tummy rumbled and purred louder than Mrs Higgins' lawnmower.
With his royal belly full to bursting, Reza turned to inspect the three cat beds, eyeing them like a very fussy emperor choosing a throne. Penelope's was a pink satin cushion, soft as a cloud but far too frilly and fancy. POKE-POKE! "For a kitten who believes in sharing and being nice? Absolutely not!" he sniffed with his nose in the air.
Ginger Tom's was a rough, smelly old blanket that looked like it had been on a thousand adventures. Reza flopped onto it with a great big FLOP! "Ugh, smells like chicken dinners and muddy paws!" he grumbled, hopping off with a snooty Hmph! and shaking his paws in disgust.
Tiger's was a simple wool basket, looking neat and tidy and just right for a nap. Reza circled it once — PAD-PAD-PAD! — then twice — TWIRL-SPIN! — and decided it was "absolutely perfect" for a cat of his greatness. He aimed to plop down regally like a king on his throne, but oh dear me! He misjudged the size completely. PLOP-SQUISH-SQUEEZE! Instead of settling in gracefully, his big fluffy head and front paws vanished inside the basket, while his enormous bottom remained stuck on the rim like a furry traffic jam! WIGGLE-WAGGLE-STUCK! His tail twitched frantically as he realised with horror: "Oh crikey — this basket is far too titchy for King Reza!"
Just then, the three friends bounced back inside, chattering excitedly about all the butterflies they'd chased. BOING-BOING-BOUNCE! But they stopped dead in their tracks when they saw the mess.
Penelope gasped so loudly she nearly fell over backwards. "GASP! SHRIEK!" "My beautiful salmon mousse! It's turned into a pink puddle on the RUG!" WAAAAH!
Ginger Tom yowled like a fire engine. "YOWWWWL!" "My lovely chicken! It's bouncing all over the floor like popcorn!" His tummy rumbled like an angry thunderstorm. RUMBLE-GRUMBLE-GROWL!
Little Tiger squeaked like a squeaky toy. "SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK!" "My crunchy biscuits! They've completely VANISHED! And... and... WHAT'S THAT ENORMOUS BOTTOM STUCK IN MY BASKET?!" He pointed a tiny paw at Reza, wedged headfirst inside the wool basket, with only his fluffy behind and frantically swishing tail visible. It looked absolutely ridiculous!
Reza struggled and wriggled and pushed, but the basket clung to him like a woolly hat that was three sizes too small. WIGGLE-WAGGLE-GRRMPH... PUSH-SHOVE-HSSS... "Help! I mean... AHEM... I am the magnificent KING REZA!" he mewed in a very muffled, embarrassed voice that didn't sound kingly at all.
Penelope couldn't help but giggle. "GIGGLE-SNORT!" "You gobbled up our dinner and now you're stuck like a cork in a bottle!" Ginger Tom burst out laughing. "HA-HA-HA-SNORT!" Little Tiger danced around in circles, clapping his paws. "HEE-HEE-HEE!" "He looks like a furry ice cream cone that's fallen upside down!"
Penelope, being the sensible one, gave a decisive meow. "Right then! I'm fetching my human to sort this muddle out." She dashed inside to find help. Tiger and Ginger Tom watched with great amusement as Reza's tail continued to swish about frantically like a feather duster gone mad.
Soon, Penelope's kind human arrived, took one look at the mess and couldn't help but chuckle. With very gentle hands, she carefully wiggled and tugged until POP! Reza came free from the basket like a cork from a bottle. His magnificent fur was all ruffled and sticking up in silly directions, and his pride was even more rumpled than his whiskers.
The human carried a very sheepish Reza over to Mrs Higgins's gate and rang the doorbell. DING-DONG! Mrs Higgins opened the door with a gentle smile — until she saw Reza, looking thoroughly dishevelled and rather embarrassed. "Oh my goodness, Reza Shadey! What on earth have you been up to now, you cheeky monkey?" she scolded gently, scooping him into her arms for a cuddle. She apologised ever so politely to Penelope's human for all the bother and carried Reza back home.
Reza, his whiskers drooping with embarrassment, slunk through Mrs Higgins's door like a deflated balloon. "Well, that didn't go quite as planned", he mumbled to himself, trying to smooth down his fur and salvage what was left of his dignity. Mrs Higgins gave him a gentle but firm pat. "No more mischief, my lad", she said with a knowing smile. "And perhaps next time, remember that sharing is much more fun than grabbing!" Reza could only mew quietly in agreement, though he was secretly planning his next adventure already.
From that day on, Penelope, Ginger Tom and Tiger always remembered to close their door during sleepovers — just in case! And as for Reza? Well, he learned (very, very slowly) that being a true king meant being kind to your neighbours... and also checking if you fit in baskets before diving in headfirst!
Sometimes, when the three friends had their sleepovers, they'd peek over the fence and see Reza practicing getting in and out of his own basket, just to make sure he'd never get stuck again. And sometimes — just sometimes — they'd even invite him over for a proper visit, where he'd share their snacks instead of stealing them. Though he still insisted on calling himself "Your Majesty", which made everyone giggle.
Night night. Sleep tight.