Story 54: Reza Shadey's Purr-fect Business Empire
One sparkly morning, Reza Shadey, the fluffiest, most self-important Persian cat in the whole wide world, lounged on Mrs Higgins's windowsill. His emerald eyes gleamed like polished marbles, and his tail swished slowly... swish-swish... with important thoughts.
"Ruling this garden is dreadfully small-time", he thought. "I must expand my operations. I shall build a proper business. A very important one."
He sat up straighter.
"It will be called Sardine & Co.", he decided grandly. "A premium service for naps, snacks, and general excellence. I shall be extremely successful... and also extremely well-fed."
With a mighty BOING!, Reza leaped down into the garden.
"Emergency meeting!" he declared.
Tap-tap! went his paw on an overturned flowerpot, his desk, while his tail flicked... flick-flick.
Penelope, the elegant white cat, Ginger Tom, the chunky orange dreamer, and Tiger, the bouncy kitten, wandered over, their tails flicking curiously.
"What is it now, Rezzi?"Penelope asked gently.
Reza puffed out his chest.
"Welcome, team", he announced. "Sardine & Co. is officially open for business. We will offer luxurious naps on velvet cushions, delicious snacks, and grooming of the highest standard."
Tiger gasped. "That sounds amazing!"
"Indeed", said Reza. "However, excellence has a cost. Ten biscuits per nap, five treats per snack, and one whole sardine for a brush."
Ginger Tom blinked. "Ten biscuits... for a kip?"
"Correct", said Reza.
"You're havin' a laugh", said Ginger Tom. "I'll stick with the wheelbarrow."
Penelope tilted her head. "Rezzi, darling, that seems rather expensive. And shouldn't a good business make things nicer for its customers?"
Reza flicked his ears.
"My dear Penelope, you are thinking far too small. I am introducing... standards."
Tiger bounced. "Can I test the snacks?"
"We are not testing snacks", said Reza firmly.
Tiger paused. "What if I accidentally test them?"
Reza ignored this and marched towards Mrs Higgins's shed.
Creak...
The grand opening was, in Reza's opinion, magnificent.
Cobwebs had been arranged into what he called "decorative lace". A rusty tin lid displayed a carefully scratched sign:
Sardine & Co. — A Truly Exclusive Experience
The neighbourhood animals gathered.
Sniff-sniff!Shuffle-shuffle!
Chipper the rabbit twitched his nose. Hammie the hamster peeked out nervously. the dog stood at the door and grumbled, "This better be worth it, Reza."
Reza raised a paw.
"Welcome, valued customers. Please follow the rules."
Chipper hopped forward.
"No napping unless you face north and think very important thoughts", said Reza.
Chipper froze.
"I just wanted a nap", he said.
"Important thoughts only", Reza replied.
Hammie approached the snacks.
"No snacks unless you salute this sardine and say 'Thank you, Reza'", said Reza.
Hammie squeaked and dived straight into a bag of soil.
Rustle-rustle!
stepped up. "Just a quick brush, yeah?"
"Certainly", said Reza. "First, you must bark the national anthem... backwards."
stared at him.
"You're a very strange cat", he said, and walked in a circle instead.
Meanwhile, inside the shed, things were not going well.
Penelope fluffed a cushion.
"Too flat", said Reza.
She fluffed it again.
"Too lumpy", said Reza.
Ginger Tom had quietly taken charge of "quality control" and was eating the snacks.
Crunch-crunch!
Tiger had discovered a bottle of shampoo.
"The bubbles are incredible!" he shouted.
FWOOSH!POP!SPLASH!
Soon the entire shed was a slippery sea of foam.
Customers began to grumble.
"Too expensive!" thumped Chipper.
"Too bossy!" squeaked Hammie from inside the soil bag.
"I'm telling Mrs Higgins!" barked .
From the house, a voice drifted faintly through the open window.
"What on earth is going on out there?"
That was enough.
The customers hurried off, leaving behind soggy cushions, scattered biscuits, and one very damp sardine.
Plop.
Reza sat in the middle of the mess. Bubbles slid slowly down his whiskers.
A lesser cat might have felt sad.
A lesser cat might have admitted something had gone wrong.
Reza Shadey narrowed his eyes.
"Fascinating", he murmured.
He stood up, shaking himself. Splish!
"A highly informative test of the market", he continued. "The issue is not my idea. The issue is... the customers."
Penelope stepped carefully over a puddle.
"Rezzi", she said, "you chased them all away."
"Incorrect", said Reza smoothly. "I have identified a lack of appreciation for excellence."
Ginger Tom licked a crumb. "Or maybe ten biscuits for a nap is a bit much."
Reza ignored this.
"Clearly, managing such a business is beneath my talents", he said. "Therefore, I shall sell it."
At that very moment, Mr Fuzzypants the guinea pig waddled past, dragging a rather large tin of tuna.
Clink-clink.
Reza's eyes gleamed.
"Mr Fuzzypants", he called, "how would you like to acquire a fully operational business?"
Mr Fuzzypants paused.
Reza gestured grandly at the soggy shed.
"It comes with decor, facilities, and... atmosphere."
Mr Fuzzypants looked at the shed. Then at the tuna. Then back at the shed.
He dropped the tin.
Squeak!
Reza nudged it towards himself with great dignity.
"A wise investment", he said.
Moments later, he was lying in a warm patch of sunshine, happily opening the tin.
Pop!
"Another excellent decision", he purred. "I built an empire, tested the market, and secured a profitable outcome... all before lunch."
He curled his tail neatly around himself.
"Frankly, it's exhausting being this successful."
As the garden grew quiet and the stars began to twinkle, Reza drifted off to sleep.
"The moon would make a fine expansion opportunity", he murmured. "Plenty of space... very exclusive..."
He twitched one whisker.
"Possibly made of cheese."
Night night. Sleep tight.