Story 55: Reza Shadey and the Toll-Bridge Troll
One sunny afternoon, Reza Shadey a mischievous Persian cat, was inspecting his vast garden empire when he came across a new business opportunity. It was a little wooden bridge over a bubbly stream. "Location, location, location", he purred, his whiskers twitching. "It's shady. It's exclusive. It's an important crossing point for all garden traffic. It's... perfect." He slid underneath it, his fluffy tail swishing. "Effective immediately, I am no longer a cat. I am a troll. A very handsome, important troll. And this is my tollbooth."
He had barely settled in to calculate his future earnings in salmon and biscuits when he heard a noise. Pitter-patter, pitter-patter. Annoyingly cheerful little paws. Reza took a deep breath, puffed out all his fur to look twice as big and bellowed in his deepest, most gravelly voice: "WHO IS THAT PITTER-PATTING ON MY PRIVATE PROPERTY?"
A small, stripy head popped over the side. It was Tiger. "Oh, hello Reza!" he chirped. "I'm going to the meadow. The butterflies are having a party!"
Reza scoffed. "This is not a public right-of-way! This is the Bridge of the Great and Terrible Troll Reza! The toll must be paid!"
Tiger looked confused. "A toll? But I don't have any pockets." He thought for a moment. "I know! I'll catch you the prettiest butterfly! It has sparkly wings!"
Reza rolled his eyes. "Insects. What a pathetic currency." But he sighed dramatically. "Oh, very well. I shall accept your feeble offering. Now scurry along before you lower the tone of the place."
Next came a heavier sound. Clomp, clomp, CLOMP. Reza grinned. That sounded more promising. "WHO IS THAT CLOMPING SO LOUDLY ON MY MAGNIFICENT BRIDGE?" he roared.
A sleepy-looking Ginger Tom appeared. "Alright, Reza?" he mumbled. "Just off to inspect the nap potential of that sunny spot by the shed."
Reza's tummy gave a hopeful rumble. "This one looks like he has access to resources." "HALT!" he commanded. "The toll for crossing is one bag of crunchy biscuits. Payable in advance."
Ginger Tom yawned. "I haven't got any biscuits. But if you let me cross, and if Mrs Higgins has left any out, I'll bring you... one."
Reza was outraged. "ONE? This is a premium bridge! Very well. You may have a credit account. I'll take HALF of whatever you find. But if you try to cheat me, I'll know." With a flick of his paw, he dismissed him.
But then, the whole bridge began to SHAKE. THUMP-A-LUMP, THUMP-A-LUMP! Dust rained down on his perfect fur. This was an outrage! He scrambled out, spitting dust. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? WHO DARES TO VIBRATE MY TOLLBOOTH?"
A very elegant, fluffy white face looked down. It was Penelope. "Oh, hello Rezzi", she purred, not looking scared at all. "I'm just off to see the fishmonger. He's got the lorry at the end of the lane."
Reza's heart stopped. The fishmonger. Fresh fish. The ultimate prize. His whole business plan had led to this moment. "The toll", he said, trying to sound terrifying and not at all dribbly, "is everything. One hundred percent of the fish you acquire."
Penelope laughed, a sound like tiny bells. "Don't be a silly goose, Rezzi. I'm not giving you all my fish." She tilted her head. "But if you stop playing this silly troll game and come with me, we can use our combined charm to get extra bits. We can be partners."
Reza froze. Partners? Sharing? It went against all his principles. But... going with her was a hostile takeover of the mission. He could control the negotiations! "It's a strategic alliance", he decided. With a sigh that said 'the things I do for my friends', he scrambled up.
"Very well", he announced. "I shall accompany you as Chief Negotiator. This is a business trip."
On the way, they found Tiger chasing his tail. "The butterfly flew away!" he giggled. Then they saw Ginger Tom, fast asleep and covered in crumbs. He had clearly eaten the entire inventory.
Reza sniffed. "Amateurs. You can't get the staff these days." But he didn't care, because the beautiful smell of fresh fish was getting stronger.
That evening, with a full belly of delicious salmon, Reza lounged by the stream. "Perhaps partnerships have their uses", he decided, purring loudly. "They get you closer to the assets." He flicked his tail. "Tomorrow, I'll dissolve the partnership and rebrand the bridge as a luxury spa. The tolls will be much higher."
Night night. Sleep tight.