Story 56: Reza Shadey and the Three Cosy Homes
One bright morning in Mrs Higgins' garden, Penelope, Ginger Tom, and Tiger decided they each needed their own special home. Tiger, bouncing with excitement, declared, "I'll build mine from cardboard boxes! They're bouncy and fun!" He zipped around collecting delivery boxes, stacking them wibbly-wobbly with sticky tape. Rip! Stick! Crinkle!
Ginger Tom, feeling rather lazy, yawned and stretched. "Blankets and cushions for me", he purred. He dragged garden cushions under the hydrangea bush, making a squidgy nest. Flump! Flump! Ahhh...
Penelope, being sensible, carefully selected smooth wooden planks. "I shall build a proper den", she announced. She lined it with fleece and even added a tiny welcome mat. Tap-tap! Hammer-hammer!
Watching from his absolute best sunbeam spot, Reza Shadey, a very important Persian cat with a very important fluffy tail, noticed something terribly, dreadfully wrong. "Goodness gracious me!" he puffed, fluffing his whiskers like a grumpy cloud. "My friends are building homes without my official inspection! This is simply outrageous! Who will ensure they are perfectly purr-fectly cosy and up to scratch?" He gave an enormous, dramatic sigh. "Clearly, an expert is required. And who is more expert than I, Reza Shadey, the most important Royal Inspector of Cosy Cat Homes?"
With great importance, he marched to Tiger's box house. "Little cat, little cat!" he boomed in his deepest voice. "Let me inspect your home! By royal decree!"
Tiger giggled from inside. "No thank you, Reza! I'm having a bounce party!" Boing! Boing!
Reza's eyes narrowed. "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll... AH-CHOOOOOO!" His enormous sneeze blew the boxes apart like papery fireworks! WHOOSH! CRASH! Tiger burst out, giggling, "Whoosh! That was fun! Do it again, Reza!" He was covered in crinkly cardboard bits, looking like a very happy, messy parcel.
Next, Reza strutted to Ginger Tom's cushion house. "Tom! Your home is a disgrace! Unauthorised fluffiness! Let me in for immediate inspection!"
Tom mumbled sleepily, "Go 'way, Reza. Inspectin' naps is bad manners..." Zzzzz...
Reza huffed. "VERY well! I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll... JUMP ON IT!" He launched himself onto the roof. SPLOOF! The cushions collapsed like a deflated soufflé! Tom woke with a start, buried up to his ears in squishy cushions. "Wha...? Did the sky fall down? Or just Reza?" he mumbled, a bit cross and very squished.
Finally, Reza approached Penelope's sturdy wooden den. "Penelope! Your home lacks... royal sparkle! Open up for inspection!"
Penelope peered through her little window. "Absolutely not, Rezzi. You've caused quite enough chaos for one day."
Reza huffed and puffed, but the little wooden house didn't even wobble! "Hmmm, a very sturdy, but rather rude, dwelling", he thought. Then, his eyes gleamed! "Aha! The SECRET entrance!" he declared, pointing a regal paw at a small, rather dusty flowerpot sitting on top like a chimney. "Every proper home has a chimney, perfect for a surprise inspection!" He took a deep breath, puffed out his chest, and tried to squeeze in headfirst. Wiggle! Push! GRUNT! Wiggle some more! But Reza, being a very fluffy cat, got well and truly STUCK! His head was in the flowerpot, and his very fluffy bottom was waving in the air. "Help! I'm being detained by an uncooperative ceramic!" he meowed, his voice sounding muffled and cross from inside the pot.
The three friends stared. Then Tiger burst into uncontrollable giggles. "Oh, look! Reza's fluffy bum is wiggling like a jelly!" Tom opened one eye, then the other. "He looks like a grumpy cat-flower!" Penelope, ever practical, stepped forward. "Right, everyone! Paws on his bottom – gently now! One... two... three... PULL!" WHOOSH! POP! Reza shot out of the flowerpot like a fluffy, indignant rocket, landing with a soft THUMP! in the grass.
Brushing dust off his fur, Reza tried to look dignified. "Ahem. As I was saying, your homes require..."
Penelope held up a paw. "Tea and biscuits, Rezzi? On one condition..." She poured chamomile tea into a tiny cup. "No more uninvited inspections."
Reza blinked, trying to look very grand despite the grass in his whiskers. He sniffed the delicious custard creams. "Ah, yes. A truly important inspector, such as myself, sometimes requires... compensation for his troubles." He took a very slow, very dramatic bite of a biscuit. "Indeed. I shall allow you to keep your (ahem) 'homes' in Mrs Higgins' garden, but only if you pay rent. Three biscuits per week. Per cat! And they must be custard creams!"
The friends stared. Tiger bounced, "Can I pay in bouncy balls?" Tom mumbled through a biscuit, "Can I pay in naps?" Penelope just smiled. "We'll discuss it after tea."
As the sun set, Reza surveyed the garden, now dotted with three cosy homes and one smug Persian cat. "Rent collection", he purred. "Much more dignified than inspections. Though perhaps I should invent building permits tomorrow..."
Night night. Sleep tight.