Story 68: Reza Shadey and the Wind-Whirligig
One breezy afternoon, Reza Shadey, the world's most brilliant and spectacularly fluffy Persian cat, had a magnificent idea. It happened when he saw a child's colourful spinning wheel, forgotten on the lawn, spinning merrily in the wind. Whizz, whizz, whizz! He then spotted an empty yoghurt pot.
"Goodness me!" he gasped, his emerald eyes gleaming. "A spinning thingy and a sturdy base! This is not a toy! This is the beginning of an empire!" He declared to a passing beetle, "I shall invent a windmill! A revolutionary device to make me fabulously rich in tuna and salmon pâté!"
With a flick of his tail, he summoned his friends. "Attention, minions!" he yowled. "Penelope! Ginger Tom! Tiger! Prepare to be amazed!" He presented his invention: the spinning wheel stuck on the yoghurt pot, now hidden inside a very important-looking cardboard box.
"Behold!" he proclaimed. "The Wind-Whirligig! It doesn't just use wind; it uses my secret science of 'Purr-o-dynamic Vortex Amplification'!"
Tiger bounced. "What's that?"
Reza puffed out his chest. "It uses 'kinetic catnip acceleration' to make the wind purr, which makes it zoom faster! It can make power from a kitten's sigh!" To prove it, he slyly pressed a hidden button with his paw. A tiny battery-powered motor whirred, and the windmill spun furiously. WHIRRRRRR!
His friends were amazed! "Invest your tuna with me", Reza purred smoothly, "and soon we will have self-cleaning litter trays and cat food dispensers that never run out!" Penelope offered her finest salmon. Ginger Tom handed over a whole tin of tuna. Tiger gave him three crunchy biscuits and a shiny bottle top.
Soon, the local cat newspaper, "The Daily Meow", ran a glowing story. And then, a very posh envelope arrived. It was an invitation to present his Wind-Whirligig at the Global Wind Power Conference for Sophisticated Mammals in London! "Finally!" Reza thought. "A stage worthy of my genius!"
The conference hall was huge and filled with very serious animals in tiny spectacles. There was Professor Hoot, a wise owl; Dr Sly, a clever fox; and Mr Badgerly, a grumpy badger who looked like he'd just eaten a sour worm. Reza strutted onto the stage with his Wind-Whirligig. It looked very impressive.
"Prepare for a revolution!" he announced. The hall was completely still. There wasn't a single puff of wind. "No matter", he thought, "my genius has accounted for this!" He gave his speech, full of long, complicated words. Then, for the grand finale, he secretly pressed the button.
But this time, something was wrong. The battery, which was only a very small one, gave a sad little BZZZT! The tiny spinning wheel inside made a faint whizz-whizz-whizz sound, and then it just... wobbled. A faint, pathetic wobble-wobble-squeak echoed in the silent hall. Finally, the battery was drained and it refused to spin.
Professor Hoot adjusted his glasses. "A-hem. Mr Shadey, can you explain the energy balance here? Where does the 'amplification' come from?"
Reza started to sweat. "It's... the quantum fluff! And the... purr-o-dynamics!"
Then, an eagle-eyed engineer named Sharp-Eye pointed a wing. "Excuse me", she squawked, "but I can hear a tiny motor, and I can see a child's spinning wheel inside your 'vortex chamber'. Are you just spinning a toy with a battery?"
The game was up! The potential investors gasped! Mr Badgerly stood up and grumbled, "It's a sham! A complete fraud!"
Reza Shadey, seeing his empire crumbling, did the only thing a cat of his genius could do. He spotted a tiny red laser dot on the floor, from a pointer left by the previous presenter. He gave it a flick... the dot zipped across the floor. "MRREEEOW!" he shrieked, and with a wild yowl, he chased the dot right off the stage, out of the fire escape and into the busy London streets, leaving chaos and confusion behind him.
Back home, "The Daily Meow" published a new story: "THE GREAT WIND-WHIRLIGIG WOBBLE!" Penelope, Tom and Tiger read the story and looked at their empty tuna cans. They had learned a valuable lesson about schemes that sound too good to be true. As for Reza? He returned that evening, looking very pleased with himself. "The conference was a stunning success", he purred to a dandelion. "I identified a critical flaw in their laser-pointer security. My bill is in the post. Now, what shall I invent next?"
Night night. Sleep tight.