Story 81: Reza Shadey and the 'Dreamies NOW!' Guru
Once upon a time, in a cosy house with a rather large garden, lived Reza Shadey, a Persian cat of much fluff and even more important opinions. Reza, with his dark, sleek fur and big, clever green eyes, believed he was in charge of everything, especially Mrs Higgins, his human.
One sunny afternoon, Reza watched Mrs Higgins struggle with a tangle of poles and nets. "Oh, dear", she sighed, wiping her brow. "Finding the perfect catio is harder than finding a needle in a haystack!" She wanted to build a lovely outdoor enclosure, a catio, so her precious kitties could enjoy the fresh air safely. But oh, the searching! So many options, so many measurements, such a headache!
Reza's clever green eyes widened. A problem! A big, human-sized problem! And where there was a problem, there was an opportunity for Reza to be, well, even more in charge. "Hmph", he purred, a tiny smirk playing on his whiskers. "Humans are so inefficient. I could solve this in a paw-snap!"
Just then, a bouncy, stripy blur zipped past him. It was Tiger, the young kitten, tail twitching with excitement. "Reza! Reza! You won't believe it! Mo Squibbins! He's in Catford! He signed his book!" Tiger pranced, waving a small, brightly coloured book. "Look! It has POP-UP MICE! SQUEAK!" A tiny cardboard mouse sprang from the page, and Tiger pounced on it with a delighted wiggle, forgetting all about Reza.
Reza's ears twitched. Mo Squibbins? The famous feline entrepreneur? The 'Dreamies NOW!' guru? The cat who only spoke in slogans but had millions of followers? This was it! This was his chance! He wouldn't just solve the catio problem; he would build an empire! "Catio-Corp International! A global powerhouse of premium outdoor leisure solutions for the discerning feline! And I shall be its magnificent CEO!" If he could get Mo Squibbins to invest, Reza Shadey would be unstoppable!
He put on his most serious, business-like face. "Tiger, darling, less pouncing, more purr-suing. Mo Squibbins, you say? Excellent. A fellow visionary, I presume." Reza straightened his fur. He needed to make a journey. A very important business journey.
The next day, with much dramatic sighing and careful persuasion of Mrs Higgins (who thought he just wanted a car ride), Reza found himself in bustling Catford. The queue for Mo Squibbins's book signing snaked around the block. Cats of all shapes and sizes waited, clutching their copies of "Dreamies NOW!", eager for a paw-print and a word of wisdom.
Finally, it was Reza's turn. He approached the table where Mo Squibbins sat, sleek and composed, a regal British Shorthair with an air of profound wisdom. Reza puffed out his chest. "Mr Squibbins", he began, "I represent Catio-Corp International. We have a revolutionary concept! A digital platform to find the ultimate catio! Bringing all the scratching post data under one umbrella, so cats can truly see their purr-fect patch in the jungle of catios!" He even managed to throw in, "We aim for 10,000 app users by March to prove our concept!" He had no idea what an "app" was, that was for lesser cats, but "10k app users by March" sounded very entrepreneur-y.
Mo Squibbins looked at Reza with calm, knowing eyes. He slowly extended a paw, dipped it in ink, and pressed it onto Reza's freshly bought copy of "Dreamies NOW!", which cost Reza a week's supply of delicious tuna. Then, in a voice that was both soothing and profound, Mo uttered his wisdom. "To find the fish, one must first become the water", he purred cryptically. He paused, then added, "And remember, scratching is enriching." He then signed the dedication, "Keep on dreaming."
Reza blinked. He waited for the investment, the handshake, the grand declaration of partnership. Instead, Mo was already turning to the next eager customer. Reza clutched his book. "Baffling", he thought, but in a good way. In a wise way. "This is the cryptic wisdom of a true guru! He didn't give me tuna, but he gave me a paw-signed book and a photo! An actual photo!"
Back home, Reza gathered Penelope, Ginger Tom, and Tiger, who was still bouncing. He held up the book with great fanfare. "Behold!" he announced with a dramatic sigh. "The wisdom of Mo Squibbins! He signed my book! A personal endorsement for my catio venture!"
Penelope tilted her head, her soft white fur gleaming. "But Rezzi, did he... invest any tuna?"
Ginger Tom, woken from a nap, shot bolt upright. "A signed book? Did you use your tuna money for that, Reza?" His eyes were wide with a mix of horror and disbelief. "A week's supply?! That's not a business expense, Reza, that is the single greatest tragedy in the history of snacks!"
Reza puffed himself up. "Nonsense! He gave me his wisdom! It's all in here! 'To find the fish, one must first become the water!' He even said, 'Keep on dreaming!'" He tapped the book with a paw. "It's a profound metaphor for perseverance!"
Just then, Tiger, who had been quietly looking at the book, popped up again. "And don't forget the pop-up mice! SQUEAK!" A little cardboard mouse sprung up, and Tiger pounced, giggling.
Reza's magnificent fur bristled. "Tiger! That is merely a... visual aid for the younger, less sophisticated entrepreneur! The true wisdom lies within the pages! This", he declared, holding the book aloft, "is the blueprint for my next big thing!"
He never did get Catio-Corp International off the ground. All startups were tough, he would later explain with another dramatic sigh. Especially if Mo Squibbins wouldn't invest any actual tuna in the venture. "It's his loss, really", Reza would muse, secretly believing Mo had missed out on a truly groundbreaking opportunity. "He clearly saw my potential was too vast, too brilliant. He knew my genius would eclipse his own. A wise move, Squibbins. Very wise. But I have your book. And your secrets. And a pop-up mouse. The world will be mine soon enough." Mo, meanwhile, just kept selling books, quietly amused by the endless stream of ambitious, tuna-spending felines.
Night night. Sleep tight.