Story 93: Reza Shadey... It's Time to Talk
Snuggle down, little ones. Tonight's story is about Reza Shadey — a very clever, very fluffy Persian cat who believed that happiness was suspicious unless he was in charge of it.
It began one morning when Mrs Higgins turned up the radio. "Today is Time to Talk Day", said the cheerful voice. "A chance to share how we're really feeling."
Reza's ears flicked. "Share feelings? Ridiculous. Feelings should be stored neatly in labelled jars — like pâté."
But then he noticed something dreadful. His friends looked... happy. Penelope was purring in a sunbeam, Ginger Tom was chuckling in his sleep, and Tiger was bouncing with pure, unadulterated joy. To Reza, this was clearly unnatural.
"Hmph!" he announced to a passing beetle. "They are hiding their inner gloom! I, Doctor Reza Shadey — Feline Feelings Specialist — will save them from this alarming outbreak of joy!" Of course, he didn't really want to save them. He just wanted to prove that he was cleverer than everyone else.
He first approached Ginger Tom, who was snoring gently under a rose bush. "Tom, my dear fellow! Your excessive napping is a clear sign of Chronic Contentment Disorder!" Reza declared, tapping him with a paw. Tom opened one eye. "This is a proper good kip, mate. A bit of bo-peep. Leave me to it." He rolled over and started snoring again.
Next, Reza turned to Penelope, who was watching him from a distance, her tail twitching with amusement. "Penelope! Your calm demeanour is a textbook case of Acute Sensibility Syndrome! Deeply concerning!" Penelope just blinked slowly, as if to say, "I'm watching you, Rezzi. And I know you're up to something."
Undeterred, Reza decided Tiger was the perfect patient — bouncing after dandelion fluff, eyes bright with delight. "Tiger, old chum!" Reza purred. "You seem too happy. Classic symptom of... Excessive Cheerfulness Syndrome!"
Tiger blinked. "But I'm just happy, Reza." "Exactly", said Reza gravely, "Denial is a river in Egypt."
He produced a small, muddy drawing labelled 'Leap of Inner Calm — Test One.' "On Mrs Higgins's wobbly garden shelf rests a special Honesty Treat", he explained. "If you can leap up calmly — not bouncily — and take it, you'll prove you're emotionally stable."
He didn't mention that he'd loosened the shelf's screws and tied a string from it to a rose bush. His plan was simple: Tiger would wobble the shelf, Reza would "save" it dramatically, and everyone would thank him for his genius.
"Now", he said, pacing like a professor, "tail at 15 degrees, whiskers neutral, no joy whatsoever..."
But Tiger wasn't listening. He saw tuna. He leapt. BOING! He landed softly, grabbed the treat, and hopped down again — perfectly happy, perfectly fine. He then did a super-enthusiastic victory bounce on the grass. BOUNCE-WIGGLE-BOUNCE!
Then came the creak... wobble... CRASH! The shelf, shaken by Tiger's ground-shaking joy, gave way completely. It toppled over, knocking into a watering can, which tipped and sent a great SPLOOOOSH! of cold water right onto Reza!
Penelope and Ginger Tom appeared from behind the lavender bush. "Rezzi", Penelope sighed, picking up his soggy paper, "'Project: Fix Happy Cats'? Really?" Ginger Tom chuckled. "Looks like you're the one that needs fixing, you're allergic to other people's joy, mate."
Reza, dripping and tangled in string, froze. For a brief, dreadful moment, he saw Tiger's simple joy and felt something almost... uncomfortable. Maybe happiness didn't need fixing. Maybe he did. But only for a moment.
He puffed up his damp chest and declared, "Success! The experiment proves my hypothesis! Unsupervised happiness is dangerously unstable; see? Shelf collapse! Textbook case!"
Penelope rolled her eyes. "Rezzi, you're impossible." Tiger giggled. "Want some imaginary tuna, Reza?"
Reza waved him off, muttering about "future grant funding" and "improved shelf infrastructure."
Mrs Higgins's voice floated from the kitchen: "It's always good to talk, my loves — and it's good to be happy, too. Just don't try to fix your friends when they already feel fine."
Reza flicked his tail. "Hmph. Fine. But next year, I'm organising 'International Time to Listen to Me Day'."
Night night. Sleep tight.