Story 96: Reza Shadey's Appreciation Day
Okay, snuggle down tight, little ones. Let me tell you a tale about a very grand cat who decided Valentine's Day wasn't quite grand enough... unless it was entirely about him!
It was February the fourteenth, a day filled with hearts, flowers, and — much to Reza Shadey's profound disgust — unnecessary human sentimentality. He was lounging on the windowsill, lazily supervising a particularly dull patch of lawn, when the morning post arrived.
Mrs Higgins picked up a cheerful pink envelope.
"Oh, how lovely!" she exclaimed, opening it carefully. "A Valentine's card!"
She read aloud, her voice full of warmth:
"Roses are red, violets are blue,
Having a friend like you is lovely, it's true!"
She beamed and placed the card proudly on the mantelpiece.
Reza watched from the window, his magnificent fur bristling with indignation.
A card? For her?
Where was the proper appreciation for the true centre of the household's universe?
"Hmph!" he scoffed, leaping down with a dramatic flourish. "Cards? Flowers? Such ordinary trivialities! Clearly, this neighbourhood is suffering from a terrible lack of culture. What it needs is a designated day to appreciate true magnificence..."
He puffed out his chest.
"Me!"
With sudden purpose, Reza zoomed out of the cat flap and summoned the neighbourhood cats with an imperious yowl that echoed across the chilly garden.
Penelope padded over gracefully. Ginger Tom ambled up, yawning. Tiger bounced enthusiastically in circles around everyone.
Reza leapt onto a slightly wobbly terracotta pot — his makeshift podium.
"Listen up, my loyal... associates!" he announced, puffing out his chest until he resembled a fluffy emperor addressing a crowd of mildly confused subjects. "Today is hereby rebranded! Forget Valentine's Day! It is now..."
He spread his paws grandly.
"Reza Appreciation Day!"
Penelope blinked slowly.
"Rezzi, darling", she purred, a familiar note of elegant skepticism in her voice, "are you absolutely sure this isn't just another excuse for extra biscuits?"
Tom's ears twitched.
"Snack tributes?" he mumbled hopefully.
Tiger bounced higher.
"Can I appreciate you with a tactical pounce?"
Reza waved an aristocratic paw.
"Your task is simple: shower me with admiration! Cards are required — anonymous, naturally, to reflect overwhelming public enthusiasm. And tributes — preferably premium snack tributes — are strongly encouraged."
Then he struck what he believed was a deeply impressive pose.
"Go forth and appreciate!"
Throughout the day, mysterious cards began to appear.
One was tucked beneath his favourite cushion.
Another materialised beside his (currently empty) food bowl.
A third fluttered down from the fence, dropped by a magpie that looked suspiciously as though it had been bribed by a certain sly fox.
By afternoon, Reza gathered everyone on the patio for the official Reza Appreciation Day readings.
"Card the first!" he declared, holding up a slightly crumpled piece of card.
He read aloud:
"Your schemes are quite something, a sight to behold,
Though often chaotic, and frequently bold.
You aim for the stars, but land in the hedge,
Still, life's never dull when you're perched on the edge."
"Hedge?!" Reza gasped. "Are they questioning my gracefulness?"
His whiskers twitched furiously for half a second.
Then he beamed.
"Ah! Of course! They admire my bold vision! My daring genius! They recognise that I push boundaries, living life gloriously 'on the edge'!"
He picked up the second card, decorated with suspiciously excessive paw-print glitter.
He read aloud:
"Your fur is so fluffy, you nap like a pro,
You tell everyone exactly where they should go.
You think you're the boss, the king of the patch,
But sometimes your plans need a much cleverer catch."
"Implying my plans aren't clever? IMPERTINENCE!"
Reza huffed.
Then nodded sagely.
"Still — excellent observations. They acknowledge my superior fluff, my important napping skills, and my natural leadership. Clearly, they understand that only the finest plans are worthy of me."
The third card looked suspiciously nibbled around the edges.
He read aloud:
"To Reza, whose ego shines brighter than sun,
Whose plots fall apart before they've begun.
May your day bring you snacks, though you don't lift a paw,
The laziest 'genius' we ever did saw."
Reza's fur bristled.
"LAZY?! ME?! I supervise tirelessly! This is slander!"
Then his expression brightened.
"Aha! A clever one! They're using irony! Comparing my radiant ego to the sun — very flattering. And 'before they've begun' clearly means my plans succeed immediately. Magnificent!"
Just then, the postman arrived again, looking rather confused as he held a cream-coloured envelope sealed with a paw-print sticker.
"Special delivery... for a Mr... Reza Shadey?" he read aloud.
Mrs Higgins took it and brought it into the garden.
Inside was a neatly written card.
"Dearest Reza,
One hears it is a day for... sentiments. While your management methods remain... endearingly provincial, one must concede a certain rustic charm. Do try not to get stuck in any more laundry baskets this year.
Fond regards,
Queenie."
Reza sniffed haughtily.
"Queenie? Trying to bask in my reflected glory, no doubt! And mentioning baskets? Clearly a coded message about my ability to think outside the box! 'Rustic charm'? She obviously means universally admired brilliance. Transparent flattery — but accepted."
He tossed the card aside dismissively.
But as the sun began to dip, a serious problem emerged.
Where were the snacks?
The essential tributes!
When questioned, Ginger Tom simply patted his rather round tummy and mumbled something about "quality control" having been performed throughout the day.
Tiger proudly presented Reza with a muddy pebble and a slightly chewed feather.
Reza's whiskers drooped dramatically.
"Quality control?!" he cried. "Tom, those were my emergency appreciation snacks! Consumed by... testing?! This is a catastrophe!"
He turned to Tiger.
"And Tiger, pebbles are not an accepted snack currency!"
Penelope watched Reza fuss over his increasingly suspicious pile of cards.
"Are you quite sure that's what they meant, Rezzi darling?" she asked gently.
Tom shrugged.
"Bit cheeky, if you ask me, mate."
After sulking on his own for a while, Reza decided to investigate personally.
He stalked toward the shed, following a faint trail of glitter across the grass.
There, huddled together and trying very hard not to laugh, were Penelope, Tom, and Tiger, composing yet another rhyme on a scrap of card. A glitter pen lay abandoned beside them.
Up on the fence, Felix the Fox watched everything unfold with the unmistakable expression of someone who had been entirely too involved.
The truth hit Reza like a bucket of cold water.
"YOU!" he yowled, his fur puffing up to twice its usual size. "Sabotage! Treason! A conspiracy against genius! How dare you mock my official Appreciation Day with your... your amateur poetry!"
His friends simply looked at him, trying — and failing — not to giggle.
Reza threw up his paws in despair and stalked back toward the house.
"Clearly, they are simply too intimidated by my brilliance to praise me properly. Yes. They must resort to cryptic little games instead."
Near his empty bowl, he spotted a single forgotten fishy bit — likely dropped during Tom's enthusiastic "quality control."
Reza crunched it triumphantly.
"Reza Appreciation Day is a complete success! Because I appreciate myself enormously..."
He sat taller.
"And that, in the end, is the only opinion that truly matters."
Outside, his friends shared one last chuckle as they divided the remaining fishy bits Tom hadn't already eaten.
And as the stars came out, Reza practiced looking deeply appreciated in the reflection of the dark windowpane, already plotting how next year's Reza Appreciation Day would involve significantly more snacks...
...and considerably less poetry.
Night night. Sleep tight.